"I got this feeling... a weird feeling."

Ever have a Final Destination experience?

So I'm high as fuck, driving the QE2 leg of the trip home from work. Metallica's "Creeping Death" comes up on shuffle. Haw haw, I think. Talk about your all-time appropriate songs to be barrelling down a crowded highway to with loaded logging trucks right up ahead. "Creeping Death" comes to an end, and next up is the RZA's "Fatal". I glance to the right: the license plate on the Chevy Equinox I'm passing says DEA 180. Whoa.  High as fuck, remember. I look at the clock on the stereo: 5:13. Holy fuck, now I'm starting to get a little creeped out. "Fatal" is coming to an end. If the next track is "Rocky Mountain High", "Last Kiss", or "Turn Around, Look At Me" then I am pulling the fuck off this highway ASAP.

The next song up is "Party Rock Anthem". I laugh hard enough at my own stupidity and paranoia that I almost end up hitting the ditch at 130 km/h when the semi I am passing decides to merge into my lane without warning.

The next song on shuffle: "In This River" by the Black Label Society.  Brrr.  I listen to sports talk radio the rest of the trip.

Now Playing: Tom Waits - Goin' Out West
Now Quoting: Alex Browning, Final Destination

"Don't worry, no one's listening anyway."

So yeah. I'm in kind of a weird situation here.  I have this online persona that I use to bitch about work, to blog meaningless crap, and to alternate between boring and offending my few Twitter followers.  On the other hand, Facebook, my fantasy hockey league, and several other online locales showcase the real life version of me.  I've tried to keep these two personae completely isolated from each other so I'd have free reign to say whatever I want about anyone/anything I want as Pike Parker.  Sort of a online journal that strangers can read, but not friends, family, or co-workers.  I have said things that could possibly end friendships or get me in trouble at work (I can't be fired since I own the company, but I still have client relationships to maintain and I have said some pretty nasty things about people with the power to have my contract pulled.)

An extremely enterprising (and scarily obsessed) person could theoretically piece together from various information available through a Google search that these two personae are in fact the same person.  Big deal; since only strangers get to read the juicy stuff, nobody actually cares enough to really chase it down.

Just recently though, I added my sister to my Twitter followers, and I'll be going to a Vancouver Canadians ball game next weekend where I may meet up with people with whom I talk about the Blue Jays online.  These people don't know anyone in my real life, and I really doubt my sister is going to email my clients and tell them what I've been saying about them, or call up my minions and tell them the kind of shit I talk behind their backs.  It's not troublesome in that sense; it's more about the idea that the line dividing my online persona from my real life is beginning to blur.

This is probably a good thing. I mean really, what am I hiding from?  Most of the people I work with aren't actually mentally handicapped or totally useless, and when I say that they are I'm just venting frustration.  It's what I do.  I live a very low-stress lifestyle (people always ask my what my secret is for looking ten years younger than I am*; there you have it, folks) despite a career that ranges from somewhat stressful to "I'm bringing a shotgun and a chainsaw to work tomorrow and going Boomstick on these motherfuckers" stressful, and it is this venting that allows me to continue to enjoy my stress-free existence.  If I have to, I can always find another place to vent.  Or smoke more weed.

So I dunno.  Do I start posting as myself?  Do I keep doing what I'm doing? (what little of it I have been doing here; I just realized it's been almost a year since my last post, and that one really didn't have much to it.) Do I come off sounding totally mental?

Meh.  Sanity is subjective and vastly overrated.

Now Playing: Weezer - The Greatest Man That Ever Lived
Now Quoting: Harry Doyle, Major League


*It's actually genetics, so you're all screwed.  Also, as much as I enjoy looking like I'm in my mid-20's now, believe me that it was not much fun getting pulled over by cops when I was 21 because I didn't look like I was old enough to drive.  Or getting carded at a wine store last year.  How many underage drinkers buy wine, anyway?

"Then she leaves... with someone you don't know. But she makes sure you saw her as she looks right at you and bolts. And she walks out the door, your blood boiling; your stomach in ropes. Oh and your friends say, 'What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost!'"

Holy crap. I found this song a little while ago and I can't stop listening to it, even though it makes me alternate between feeling like crying and feeling somehow vindicated that leftover feelings from a long-ago relationship are not necessarily the worst thing in the world.

If it wasn't for a coworker's iTunes (a coworker who incidentally has terrible taste in music, despite the one redeeming quality of playing AC-DC's Big Gun over and over again because it pisses off our crackhead secretary) I never even would've heard of this song, and since I did hear it for the first time I haven't been able to stop listening to it. I can't even remember the last song that I could listen to a dozen times in a row like that. It got me thinking though, how many others are there out there that I haven't yet found?

It's very invigorating to have my "nothing new under the sun" philosophy knocked on its ass once in a while.


Now Playing: Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight
Now Quoting: Airborne Toxic Event

"Jon Lester has been pronounced dead at Mass General Hospital. However, the Red Sox medical staff has given him the OK to make his next start."

Blue Jays 16, Red Sox 2

Now that is what I'm talking about.

Kudos to the gf for HD-PVRing this one so I can watch it once I get back to civilization.  Sarcastic kudos to Rogers for broadcasting it on a channel we actually get in the west.

I am seriously considering renaming this blog to "Lyle Overbay's Snot Rocket" in honor of last night's game.

Now Playing: Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noize
Now Quoting: Some Masshole halfwit from SOSH (shamelessly plagiarized from Hum and Chuck)

"Is very bad to drink Jobu's rum. Is VERY bad."

Take that, A-Rod, you disrespectful piece of shit cheater.

Karma is a wonderful thing.

Now playing: Cypress Hill - What Go Around Come Around, Kid
Now quoting: Pedro Cerrano

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."

Wow. It's been almost two years since my last entry. Brian Kingman has been eclipsed by Mike Maroth and his remarkable 21-loss season for the Tigers. Andres "Big Cat" Gallaraga has retired and handed the torch to Sammy Sosa as the new reigning active strikeout king. The third Matrix movie was released and sucked just as bad as the second.

Not everything has changed, though. FOX News is still neither fair nor balanced. Anna Kournikova is still hot, and still a lousy pro tennis player (although I'm sure she could kick my ass... hell, I'd let her win.) I'm still me; you're still you.

Here's what pisses me off. For a long time, I've been into neo-punk bands that anyone who listens to Top 40 hasn't heard of, or at least hasn't heard much of. However, with the exceptions of Screeching Weasel and NOFX, many of these bands have acheived different levels of mainstream success, which bothers me a great deal. blink-182, Yellowcard, The Ataris, and lately Rise Against have all made it big, and this pisses me off because I Listened To Them Before You Did. Blink bothers me because I would still like their music if I didn't hear it so damn often. The Ataris bother me because not only did they make their break on a cover song (I hate any band that does this other than Me First;) they didn't even have the class to show some respect to the guy who made the song big in the first place. The punk mantra of rebellion against the establishment should be left to guys who can do it credibly, like Propaghandi or Rancid. Yellowcard, they're still alright. Rise Against I can't complain about too much because it's more of a record industry thing that their accoustic cover of Swing Life Away was pushed out as their breakout single. Their old stuff blows that Dashboard Confessional-esque crap away any day of the week. Speaking of Dashboard, Chris Carrabba was someone I respected musically before any of you stupid teenyboppers started falling in love with him. If Diesel Boy (the band, not the DJ) becomes mainstream popular, I swear I'm gonna have to kill the first person who tells me how cool they are.

Now Playing: Anthrax - Startin' Up A Posse
Now Quoting: Tyler Durden

"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."

A couple thoughts to share with the sporting community:

1) Leave Anna Kournikova alone. There are a lot of bad women's tennis players out there. It's not her fault she's really hot.

2) Leave Brian Kingman alone. Being the last 20-game loser in baseball is an accomplishment and something to be proud of, the same way the guy who holds the career record for strikeouts (whoever that is... maybe I'll look it up.) It's not a great accomplishment, granted, but it's more of an accomplishment than, say, throwing a firecracker into a group of fans or cheating your way to the home run record. The guy's got a sense of humor about it, too. He's more deserving to hold this distinguishment than Mike Maroth, victimized by a hapless Tigers organization that at one time this season had three starters on pace to lose 20 games.

PS: The top three all-time strikeout leaders are Reggie Jackson with 2597, Jose Canseco with 1942, and Andres Gallaraga (1939 and the current active leader.) Quality players and great guys, except for Canseco.

Now Playing: Yellowcard - Struck
Now Quoting: Yogi Berra

"I got my strong-ass knife... and your neck looks just right!"

Okay. This is the last disjointed ramble of the day, I promise. However, if I come across another instance of the phrase "fair and balanced", I'll have no choice but to go on a killing spree through downtown Winnipeg. While this may actually contribute to the greater good (if you don't know what I mean, take a stroll through beautiful downtown Winnipeg and you'll see), it might still result in unpleasant consequences for yours truly. So please. You're not Rupert Murdock, so come up with your own laughable slogan. Being witty isn't really that hard. You can see from my posts here that I do it all the time, with very little effort. Now, all conceit aside, let me warn you that this blog will not in any way, shape or form ever claim to be either fair or balanced. Now or in the future. Let's never speak of the matter again.

:)

Now Playing: Diesel Boy - Bossa Nova
Now Quoting: Body Count

"Heavy metal and mullets, that's how we were raised..."

Looks That Kill is easily one of the hardest-rocking hair metal songs ever. Seriously. You just can't not love that crunchy guitar riff. I swear, when I become a rock star and someone calls me the second coming of Mick Mars, I'll count that as high praise, even if everyone looks at me funny.

Now Playing: Motley Crue - Looks That Kill (big surprise, huh)
Now Quoting: Sum 41

"Only try to realize that I am the spoon. I'm also this sofa. And that slinky black dress you're wearing. Hell, I'm all three laws of thermodynamics. I don't even know why I'm bothering to explain this to you; you're nothing but a figment of my imagination anyway."

Okay, this is classic. I'm brand new to this whole blog thing, and it's opening my eyes to an amazing universe of people who really need to get a life. I found this one, http://matrixessays.blogspot.com, that totally blows my mind. Not that I read any of it. Okay, maybe a little. Be sure to check out the limericks. Listen to the rap song at your own risk, though. I haven't heard such mad lyrical skills since Kish. If you don't know who Kish is, consider yourself lucky. Anyhoo, the point is that The Matrix was just a good movie. It's no Fight Club. It's no Evil Dead. It sure as hell is no Pulp Fiction. It's just a good movie that spawned one bad sequel (and counting) and united nerds worldwide in a way no Hollywood franchise has since Star Wars. Or maybe Revenge of the Nerds.

Now Playing: The Headstones - Heart of Darkness
Now Quoting: Me!